I've got yer fix for the economy, right here...

[terribleturnip]

So the CEO of Washington Mutual, who held the job for less than three weeks, got paid almost $20 million for...what, exactly? Showing up?

Now, it's the guy he replaced who did the damage...can you even imagine how much money THAT guy made?

I'd think whoa, if you can make that much when you screw up, think how much you make when you're successful! Except there really isn't THAT much of a difference apparently.

So, here's my instant fix to help these banks and other institutions turn themselves around. Hire me to be CEO. I'll do it for a paltry million. Let's face it, I'm probably not going to do any worse of a job than the guy you had in there. But I WILL make you several hundred million dollars more solvent, just because I won't be cashing the giant checks.

Will I drive the business into the ground? Probably not. You've already got a team of experienced people -- I suspect that with my skill in managing people, a modicum of common sense, that the odds are in favor of me making just about as many good decisions as the guy that was there.

Plus, you've got all of those millions you've saved. Add to it that I'm personally not very self-indulgent, so you will save millions more when I start looking at expense reports and other costs.

And, when you fire me, I'd probably be happy with a month's severance -- more millions saved! Dudes, you can NOT lose here!

Comments

[thatliardiego.livejournal.com]

Do you really want to dress like a banker?

[chellebelle74.livejournal.com]

For a million dollars I'd dress like a banker...

[lowlandscot.livejournal.com]

All bankers ought to go to work dressed as pirates. Truth in advertising.

[pyllgrum.livejournal.com]

Plus I'm thinking they will save a bundle because you are willing to work from home, thereby saving the redecorating costs of the top office.

[lowlandscot.livejournal.com]

But if she goes in to the office, she could bring snacks for the break room. Hard to know how to enter that on the spreadsheet. Damn mark-to-market rules.

[lowlandscot.livejournal.com]

Oh, and if you're taking over WaMu, could you see about replacing my Visa card? This transparent green one looks like a thin section slice of lepreuchan poop.

Also, since you're now in charge, I'm a little curious about this email I got from your company inviting me to open up a 4.00% interest checking account -- 11 hours after you were seized by the FDIC.

[skivee.livejournal.com]

I'm wondering how the promo items for new accounts would change.
Perhaps a wheel of brie with new $500 deposits, a box of Omaha Steaks with $2,500, A home cooked meal prepared by the bank president for $10,000, etc.