The Laws of Coupons

[terribleturnip]

Normally, I can't be bothered by coupons -- when it comes to food...let's face it, most of the stuff I buy is fresh, unprocessed...and they don't coupon that. I'm fiercely brand-loyal (look, once I've found the "best" of something, I see no reason to save 3 cents by switching to Hunts, say, nor to waste time comparing or trying or...I just look for the Redpack or Muir Glen labels and I'm on my way) and most of the brands I like tend to be obscure or otherwise non-prone to coupons.

And no, I'm not going to try something new because I have a coupon for it. Either I want to try it on its own merits, or I'm not going to bother. Getting crap cheaper...it's still crap, whether I got a deal on it or not.

Of course, part of my problem is that I never REMEMBER the freaking coupons until AFTER it's all rung up and paid for. Oh, sure, when I was first on my own, I clipped religiously -- like my Mom, I had that little envelope-y thing and they were all arranged by type of product...

Until I realized that with all of the time I was spending looking through the circulars, clipping, arranging, discarding the expired ones...that really, I could work a couple of hours at a retail gig and come out ahead. Which is what I ultimately did -- and then, well, hell, who has the TIME for that stuff anymore?

But now I find myself back in the coupon loop -- they entice me with $3-10 off my entire order, with no specific product designated. Or $2-$3 off a single item that I would buy anyway...and I find myself trying again. And failing. Last night I went into Giant clutching two coupons that would save me $8! And I paid, took three steps and realized they were still in my purse. Sigh.

So, like the Laws of Physics, I give you the Basic Laws of Coupons:

If the shopping trip was built around this couponed item's purchase, this doubles the likelihood that you'll leave it at home.

The higher the dollar value, the greater the likelihood that you will not remember it until the transaction has been rung up and the next customer is being served.

The line at customer service will grow in inverse proportion to the proximity to the expiration date of the coupon.

Comments

[fountaingirl.livejournal.com]

Dude, the next time that happens, take five minutes and go to the customer service desk for a price adjustment. If you ask, and have the coupons there, they will do a price adjustment.

[terribleturnip.livejournal.com]

Well, yes, but THAT experience is what's generated rule #3.

And probably leads to rule #4: the IQ of the person staffing the customer service counter will vary in reverse proportion to the dollar amount of the savings to be obtained.

[chellebelle74.livejournal.com]

I have had a coupon for Yesterday's News cat litter (my usual) in my pocket for weeks because of these laws. It's only 50 cents so it's not really worth hitting the customer service desk afterwards, especially when I'm pulling out of the store parking lot when I remember. But it's still 50 cents I wouldn't have to spend. I'm hoping to finally remember it before it expires.

[mistressfetch.livejournal.com]

Speaking of Yesterday's News cat litter...I haven't had much luck with it in the order of odor control. I switched to Feline Pine because of that. How do you combat the aforementioned "smell" issue?

[chellebelle74.livejournal.com]

Feline Pine is definitely better on the odor control front (I used to use it) but Yesterday's News has it all over everything I've tried in the absorbancy department. And right now absorbancy trumps odor control because of Ollie being diabetic and not being fully under control yet - which means he pees enough to sink the Titanic. Once I have him under control in that department I'll consider switching back for the sake of my nose.

Meanwhile, I have a Renuzit super-odor-destructo thingie on the windowsill right next to the box and there is a Febreeze noticables plugged in in that room. I keep trying to train the cats to use the Oust spray on the way out of the box but they keep giving me this BS about not having opposable thumbs. ::eyeroll:: lazy cats....

[terribleturnip.livejournal.com]

I use a combo of World's Best and Nature's Miracle (because they're the most expensive. No, actually because I'm really, really fussy about scents and textures and tracking) the world's Best is super-absorbent, nad was perfect when I had three cats, but with five, it wasn't keeping up and I can NOT stand their Multi-cat/extra strength kind - it has a funny smell...but mixing in some Nature's Miracle seems to do the trick.

[pyllgrum.livejournal.com]

My mother the Yankee on Cape Cod was a gleeful couponer, and bragged about her coupon buys of Stauffer spinach casserole and Miracle Whip.

I never got into it, but I think she lived an extra year from walking around her local market getting deals.