Jul. 31st, 2009

terribleturnip: (percy)
I find myself unable to complain about the humidity, or even weather in general. THAT'S how mellow it's been. Even last night, humid as all get out, but because July was so tame...there just isn't even that ambient funk of burnt out, dried out vegetation combined with fetid standing water smell that makes me think "ah, Maryland in summer". Oh, at this rate, it will come...but if we can have early summers like we've had, I'll take a month of "fat man's armpit".

I enjoy Dogfish Head Alehouse because they cater to my inner hop whore. Plus the food is better than I would expect. And, I feel it's my duty to support a business that distills its own rum and vodka. And so, when my colleagues wanted to take me out for Happy Hour at a location of my choosing, that's what I picked. Even though I knew it would traumatize the Miller Lite "afficianados" in the crowd. But when the waitress looked at my boss, after he asked for a Bud Light and said "There is no way big strong man like you is drinking a Bud Light in here. I'll get you a Budweiser, okay?"...now I have a serious CRUSH.

The best moment of my birthday was when, immediately after leaving said Alehouse, with an inadvisable blood alcohol count for driving, I'm guessing, when I went to zip into the shopping center to get a gas station, and suddenly realized that I was heading the wrong way up a one way entrance...and the reason I knew that was the police car heading straight for me...and the officer just rolled down his window and said to back up while he watched for traffic and then wished me a good night.

Yes, that was the best moment. I almost could say that the outpouring of birthday wishes from friends was the best moment...but frankly, thanks to work and Facebook, it actually crossed some kind of line and triggered my inner hermit. It's all warm and fuzzy, but then suddenly I'm thinking...man, I can't even get my **** together enough to wish Happy Birthday to people I love and look at all of these people...making me feel bad because THEIR birthday came and went and I sure as hell never got around to...do I even KNOW that person? (Ah, the glories of facebook...there needs to be an app where once I friend you back, you send me a fullsize picture of your actual face because, honestly, the name is not always helping me, although sometimes the garb looks vaguely familiar...)

And at work, it was like a freaking onslaught. I think of myself of someone who wants attention -- I mean, I'm all okay with the dressing up and I've learned to turn my innate lack of grace into a comedy routine, and I wouldn't call myself SHY...but I couldn't get three steps in any direction without colleagues wishing me happy birthday, asking me what plans I had, making jokes about how old...I started to break out in hives and had to restrain myself from screaming "Stop LOOKING at me!" and hiding in my cube. I tried hiding, but then flowers arrived from the Captain and half of the office had to troop down my aisle to check them out because the receptionist kept telling everyone how beautiful they were. It was like social waterboarding...

Admittedly, I had been having one of the worst days ever...Because the rest of this is all about the poo...you've been forewarned )
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