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terribleturnipMy Stress Level = 11
I actually had to explain that joke to someone in his early thirties the other day. "You've never seen Spinal Tap?!?" I exclaimed. Oh,yeah, I did, he said.
How the hell did you watch that movie and fail to get "these go to eleven" ?It's in the Oxford English Dictionary, fer crissakes.
Never mind the title of this post, which I've stopped saying out loud, because NO ONE here seems to get it and it's beginning to cause alarm.
I would fear for the youth, but I'm too busy getting them off my lawn.
Every day I think "oh, this is it, it can't get any worse." And each day, I am proved an optimist.
(I know, right, me and optimist in the same sentence. And the construction wasn't something like "and then I choked the optimist" or "I was wearing the bloody heart of an optimist hanging from a cord around my neck." I WAS the optimist. THAT'S how stressed out I am.)
Actually, I am so stressed out that I've become an idiot. I cannot remember anything. I can't even remember if I'm forgetting. Case in point -- the Captain's birthday. Someone this Saturday said "oh, wish him a happy birthday tomorrow for me." And I said, but it's not his birthday. "Oh, yes it is, I saw it on Facebook." And I believed that person. And then the next day forgot. Until Monday. When suddenly I got that sick feeling -- holy herring bucket, I forgot his birthday. So, I sent him an e-mail, explaining his birthday present, and apologizing for being a moron and forgetting. And then later someone at work said something about day light savings time being on the 13th and I thought...wait a minute. It's the 13th. THAT'S his birthday. Now I look like a double-moron. And can't remember who the person on Saturday was -- I suspect they think I'm dating someone else...
What a BRILLIANT time to decide to go on a diet. No. I had to. I swore I would never cross 200 again, but apparently I lied. But I ain't staying there. Half of my clothes don't fit well and I am UNHAPPY with the way I look and feel.
Of course, I'm so stressed out, I'm self-sabatoging right and left. Which is awesome, because that just gives me ONE MORE THING to feel inadequate and failure-ish about. Which I share not as a pity party starter, but just as a lifeline to anyone else floating out here, surrounded by the wreckage of Confidence. Unsinkable, my fat ass.
But never fear. I will keep at it. I've trained cats and chickens and shrubbery, cattle and retail employees and family members. I've had a pony stop in front of a fence and throw me onto it EIGHT bloody times. And each time, I scraped myself off the fence, chased down the pony, crawled back on and headed for the fence again. I don't know who was crying more -- the pony's owner, me, or the pony, but BY GOD, ninth time was the trick.
If I can out-persist ponies and hourly-wage college students, I can out-persist my body's attempt to keep me pneumatic.
Although today I officially threw in the towel on drastically cutting back on Diet Mountain Dew. A person can only handle so much at one time.
And I really, really should come in to work on Sunday to try and catch up. But if I don't sink my fingers in some dirt and compost, I fear for my sanity.
Hopefully that will keep my fantasy of "catching up" from revolving around a can of kerosene and book of matches.
I actually had to explain that joke to someone in his early thirties the other day. "You've never seen Spinal Tap?!?" I exclaimed. Oh,yeah, I did, he said.
How the hell did you watch that movie and fail to get "these go to eleven" ?It's in the Oxford English Dictionary, fer crissakes.
Never mind the title of this post, which I've stopped saying out loud, because NO ONE here seems to get it and it's beginning to cause alarm.
I would fear for the youth, but I'm too busy getting them off my lawn.
Every day I think "oh, this is it, it can't get any worse." And each day, I am proved an optimist.
(I know, right, me and optimist in the same sentence. And the construction wasn't something like "and then I choked the optimist" or "I was wearing the bloody heart of an optimist hanging from a cord around my neck." I WAS the optimist. THAT'S how stressed out I am.)
Actually, I am so stressed out that I've become an idiot. I cannot remember anything. I can't even remember if I'm forgetting. Case in point -- the Captain's birthday. Someone this Saturday said "oh, wish him a happy birthday tomorrow for me." And I said, but it's not his birthday. "Oh, yes it is, I saw it on Facebook." And I believed that person. And then the next day forgot. Until Monday. When suddenly I got that sick feeling -- holy herring bucket, I forgot his birthday. So, I sent him an e-mail, explaining his birthday present, and apologizing for being a moron and forgetting. And then later someone at work said something about day light savings time being on the 13th and I thought...wait a minute. It's the 13th. THAT'S his birthday. Now I look like a double-moron. And can't remember who the person on Saturday was -- I suspect they think I'm dating someone else...
What a BRILLIANT time to decide to go on a diet. No. I had to. I swore I would never cross 200 again, but apparently I lied. But I ain't staying there. Half of my clothes don't fit well and I am UNHAPPY with the way I look and feel.
Of course, I'm so stressed out, I'm self-sabatoging right and left. Which is awesome, because that just gives me ONE MORE THING to feel inadequate and failure-ish about. Which I share not as a pity party starter, but just as a lifeline to anyone else floating out here, surrounded by the wreckage of Confidence. Unsinkable, my fat ass.
But never fear. I will keep at it. I've trained cats and chickens and shrubbery, cattle and retail employees and family members. I've had a pony stop in front of a fence and throw me onto it EIGHT bloody times. And each time, I scraped myself off the fence, chased down the pony, crawled back on and headed for the fence again. I don't know who was crying more -- the pony's owner, me, or the pony, but BY GOD, ninth time was the trick.
If I can out-persist ponies and hourly-wage college students, I can out-persist my body's attempt to keep me pneumatic.
Although today I officially threw in the towel on drastically cutting back on Diet Mountain Dew. A person can only handle so much at one time.
And I really, really should come in to work on Sunday to try and catch up. But if I don't sink my fingers in some dirt and compost, I fear for my sanity.
Hopefully that will keep my fantasy of "catching up" from revolving around a can of kerosene and book of matches.
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no subject
Date: 2011-03-09 10:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-09 10:41 pm (UTC)But will anyone find the Brave New World reference?
no subject
Date: 2011-03-09 10:43 pm (UTC)I slept through that book.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-09 10:53 pm (UTC)Brave New World? eh I'm too busy torturing people on why Eddie Van Halen Is Not (nor will ever be) Eric Clapton. this also works in reverse or so I'm told.
Just wait til I start on you about channeling your inner Pink Floyd. It's dying to get out don'tchaknow.
I'm combatting stress with Killians.
fucking typos, fucking grammar, I WANT NUMBERS !!!!!
no subject
Date: 2011-03-10 12:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-10 03:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-10 04:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-10 02:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-10 03:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-10 03:46 pm (UTC)I find it bizarre to "rate" any musician against each other, across genres or time or whatever, once you get to a certain skill level. How the hell can you compare?
Of course, what do I know? Elvis Costello holds the most space in my head, in terms of listening hours. And I adore him for his passion for music and musical styles. And clever lyrics. And because he has a limited vocal range, but didn't let that stop him.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-10 07:29 pm (UTC)And I like EC, too. My favorite lyric of his is from "Watching The Detectives", "she's filing her nails while they're dragging the lake."
But Steph is wrong. ;)
ps: Unknown comes to Jammin' Java in Vienna about once a year. I'll keep you posted.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-10 08:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-10 07:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-10 07:25 pm (UTC)BUT ANYWAY.
You were in my dream the other night. I don't remember the specifics, but it was nice. It felt like a hug. xoxo
no subject
Date: 2011-03-10 07:39 pm (UTC)thanks for sweet dream thoughts
but it doesn't keep Robin Trower from trumping Lemmy as well
:p
of course, it IS impossible to compare different styles in any fair and impartial way, so I'm willing to forgo that and simply invade your dreams again
no subject
Date: 2011-03-10 08:02 pm (UTC)Never mind. Just hug me.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-10 08:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-10 10:58 am (UTC)it was a book too?
Date: 2011-03-10 07:52 pm (UTC)Brave New World
Iron Maiden - released in May 2000
And I know all the words to all the songs *g*
wishing you very good things
Date: 2011-03-10 02:31 am (UTC)take you for example, stressing about your weight and a diet ... from my perspective, having seen you recently in your pre-garb jeans and such as well as your usual wonderfully piratey attire, I can tell you without hesitation you are, as you have been since I met you, a wonderfully beautiful woman, and an intelligent wonderful person ... that is a dynamic combination intimidating to some, but carried well by you
and no this isn't just some empty compliment ... you are beautiful, you are wonderful ... take it
I'm quite sure you hear this often from those closer to you ... and perhaps you dismiss it as them being nice
so don't go by just that number that seems to freak you out ... go by how you feel ... and replace half of the self criticism with half of the more positive perceptions of others ... the ying and yang
Re: wishing you very good things
Date: 2011-03-10 03:58 pm (UTC)It isn't the number, really -- I mean, I feel my best at 180, which is a number that would freak OUT most women my height. I just know that I have ranges -- and when the number is this high, I'm unhappy with the way my body feels. There's a little roll at my waist when I sit down right now that I find distracting and annoying. I have bad knees and bad ankles and all sorts of joint issues -- when I'm carrying 20 pounds above my feel-good weight, everything just HURTS more.
It's thanks to people like you, that I do feel beautiful and attractive and loved. (Although a big old nod to genetics that gave me a near perfect hourglass figure -- a bigger hourglass than most...but still, I seem to maintain that ratio no matter what, which makes me very, very lucky.)
But I do want to feel healthier, more nimble, more flexible, more sleek, for my own sake. And I think part of the reason I shared the struggle, the negative feelings is because so many of us DO seem to be a bad place -- struggling with all sorts of crap.
We're not alone in this. None of us. And that helps, doesn't it?
Re: wishing you very good things
Date: 2011-03-10 04:33 pm (UTC)your figure is a throwback to better times, when it was socially acceptable for women to have curves ... and you make a good point about genetics too
the modern day standard of size zero (women's sizes are f'd up beyond belief these days) being chic is sick if you ask me
taking the weight off to feel better rather than to meet a number on a scale is the healthy approach from my view, and fully understand it from personal experience myself ... the aging process doesn't help either as I pop and crack more than ever now when I get up in the mornings ... so rock on with the feeling better
"And I think part of the reason I shared the struggle, the negative feelings is because so many of us DO seem to be a bad place -- struggling with all sorts of crap.
We're not alone in this. None of us. And that helps, doesn't it?"
sharing our various struggles is a form of therapy I suppose ... and much cheaper than scheduling pro shrink time
and it is comforting sometimes to have this expanded on-line family from which to hear different opinions from
Gratuitous Lloyd Bridges
Date: 2011-03-10 06:21 pm (UTC)"guess I picked the
wrong week to
stop sniffing glue"
no subject
Date: 2011-03-10 06:22 pm (UTC)Remember, you can go on the cider diet...10 ciders a day is still under the calorie limit to lose weight :-)