The horror of the wrong socks

[terribleturnip]

So a mutual friend winds up at work with socks, that while they appeared to be black at home, are now, in the office, clearly blue. She surmises that perhaps there is a lesson to be learned.

O yes. There are several. Pick one:

Lesson #1: Turn on the lights when you’re getting dressed. Not the nice lights. The “omigod, I should just crawl right back into bed if I’m going to actually look like THAT today” lights.

Lesson #2: Wear your error with panache. Or elan – I had to look them both up, not really sure what the difference was. The former makes me think of food (penuche) and the latter make me think of antelope (eland) and I like elands better than penuche, so I would choose elan...but really, they're both French and I'm so damned tired of the French behaving as if they INVENTED food and fashion. So, I leave it to you to pick, but whatever, boldly proclaim that blue is the new black.

Lesson #3. Keep your legs hidden all day, move quickly when you have to leave your desk, choose the chair at the far side of the conference table.

Lesson #4: My usual choice and why I’m such a dork...make sure the entire office KNOWS you have the wrong color socks on. And that you’re either colorblind or need a higher watt bulb in the bedroom to the point. And you feel like such an idiot. And bring it up all day long to the point where they wish you’d just shut the hell up about the damn socks and will never, ever even look to see what color socks you have on in the future.

Comments

separated at birth?

[sweetpea86.livejournal.com]

I swear to you on a wheel of Wensleydale I was just about to post that *I* too chose The Wrong Socks today.

Plus I'm wearing an orange bra. But that has nothing to do with my hosiery foible.

Socks? try shes!

[im-geva.livejournal.com]

I had two pairs of my very favorite pumps. Low heel, non-toe smashing, conservative. I wore a black one and a blue one to work. I was trying not to wake up H(1) - he got kinda grumpy when I woke him up.

I blamed it on the nascent eye infection. And yes, I think I did go to the doctor's office that afternoon in two different shoes.

[bittibuddha.livejournal.com]

I too took path #4 and pointed my error out to anyone who would listen. it took someone smarter than me to point out that though the socks were not black, they did compliment my blue blouse and I should shut the hell up.

I was strangely dissatisfied to learn my ability to coordinate outfits was completely out of my conscious control. such is I suppose.

Today's issue was that I still have price tags on things I bought last night and so have revealed my age by referring to Minnie Pearl to the gaggle of office 20-somethings. They responded with the blank stares of the young.

damn them all.

[thatliardiego.livejournal.com]

Heh. Geezers. We iz them.

[macdobhran.livejournal.com]

You know, you're the second (sweetpea86 being the third) person this week to post about wearing the wrong socks. So I'm going to give you all a tip that my father taught me when I was but a wee lad.

After you wash all your dark socks and pair them up, simple fold the black ones over once and put them in the drawer.

For the blue socks, turn them socks inside out first. Then put one arm through an entire sock and grab the "toes" from the inside. Use the other hand to grab the "heel". Pull toes through with one hand while holding heel. This will form a small "mouth" at the heel. Place sock flat, mouth side down. Place second sock on top of the first. Roll tightly from leg end until you reach the "mouth". Fold into the mouth and invert it inside out, making a tight little pillow, squaring off the corners.

This way even in the dark you can tell just by the feel of the sock what color it is.

[bittibuddha.livejournal.com]

and I thought ~I~ was anal. Dood. you're CDO... its like OCD, but in alphabetical order.

[thatliardiego.livejournal.com]

How about just buying one color of sock?

[bittibuddha.livejournal.com]

Dawnie would OMG-UNFRIEND! you for saying such a thing.

[dawntreader]

seriously. for the love of GOD. all you have to do is have separate sock drawers so you know what colour drawer you're getting your socks from. i have a black and white drawer, a coloured drawer, and a funky/fancy/designer sock drawer.

this is not to be confused with my pantyhose drawer and my separate trousersock/kneesock drawer. (i have problems. and small sock drawers.)

[kudrasslipper.livejournal.com]

You have THREE DRAWERS dedicated to socks? I'm going to have to start calling you Mom.

(I thought only lesbians had the sock fetish? you know, what with all the outdoorsy stuff they do to go along with their 3 closets for timberland and columbia sportswear?)

[dawntreader]

i missed the shoe gene. i just got socks. hee!

[dawntreader]

you obviously don't understand the importance of socks.

[thatliardiego.livejournal.com]

Clearly.

[dawntreader]

i'm having a hard time even following what you just said.

do you seriously make sock pillows? or are making that up?

[terribleturnip.livejournal.com]

Wait. Your socks are folded. Near Double Windsor folded.

What kind of alien are you?

That only happens if the Captain does my laundry.

I open drawer, tip laundry basket, fill drawer. And applaud myself because my clean laundry made it into a DRAWER.

[ferlonda.livejournal.com]

I'm so jealous! You all have drawers, I have freezer zip-lock baggies. And yes, my socks are sorted into three bags- daily wear, eye-blinding knee highs and other, which is mostly stockings and other sexy type legwear. But I also have some sort of near-psychic ability to know what item of clothes I am touching no matter how dark the room is. I would go nuts trying to fold my socks- besides, it stretches the elastic and then the socks are different and I can't have that.

You are all setting the bar way too high

[lowlandscot.livejournal.com]

I'm not wearing "the wrong socks" unless one is red and the other is yellow or something equally ludicrous. And I'm not wearing "the wrong bra" unless it belongs to Rachel and will only cover one boob.

[pyllgrum.livejournal.com]

I never look low enough on a professionally dressed woman to notice if she is wearing shoes, let alone whether her socks match.

[thatliardiego.livejournal.com]

Still ordering the X-Ray Spex from the back of the comic books, I see...

[pyllgrum.livejournal.com]

Actually, I most often see professionally dressed women walking the halls in my office, and at my age, I just try to make sure I don't trip and knock them down.

[mistressfetch.livejournal.com]

Try being color deficient and a product of the United States Navy where Black IS Navy Blue...WTFIMIK? ummmm I can't tell you what color they are AND (note my frustration) you are telling me they AREN'T really the colors they are supposed to be...

(Pulls out hair in frustration)...

Moral of this story..When in public you will NEVER see me wearing socks...always tights or pantyhose...unless I'm skiing or sledding...then, well, who cares....

harumpf!

[skivee.livejournal.com]

I think that it's pretty disgusting that you are trying to divert voters with all this dismissive talk about sox education. Sox are a natural and wholesome part of the human experience. There is room for all colors and types of sox; and there is nothing wrong with that. Social pressure is no way to mandate such a personal choice.
STOP FOISTING YOUR PREJUDICES ON MY ANKLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sox Education

[lowlandscot.livejournal.com]

Oh, just move to Massachusetts, for the love of spandex. Then you can have all the Red Sox you want.

Re: Sox Education

[skivee.livejournal.com]

Hmmmm, I would have thought that they were a Blue Sox state.

Re: Sox Education

[lowlandscot.livejournal.com]

And when I say "Red" Sox I mean, uh, you know.

Re: Sox Education

[skivee.livejournal.com]

Ah, right. My mistake.