Weebles Wobbles, Tuna Staggers

[terribleturnip]

In high school I had a friend who was...Reubenesque. Well, more than me. The hip fairy didn't visit me until college, but Weebles had some serious curves back then. She has some serious curves now, but found exercise and is fit and aging beautifully. Bitch.

We used to double-date,

Procure one car and one bottle of vodka. Stop off at Dairymart and buy a 2 liter bottle of diet Sprite and a large bag of M&Ms. One couple in front, one in the back. Drive up route 17, pouring out half of the bottle of diet Sprite. Replace missing Sprite with Vodka. (It's okay, I'm shuddering too.)

Drive around Wesleyan campus, alternating chilling, eating M&Ms, drinking vodka-sprite and low-key necking with driving madly out of parking lots and secluded areas, evading campus police. (Which was sort of silly, in retrospect. We lived out in a pretty countrified area. There were thousands of secluded areas where we could have not been bothered. But we did like to get out of the car and wander around campus a little. You know, socialize...

Weebles got her name because, well, she was roundish shaped, if you ignored her waist, and when she got drunk (which was sort of the point of the evening) she would...wobble.

You're wondering about Tuna. That was me. Taken from one of my "dates" who bragged to Weebles' boyfriend that "tonight, I'm going to harpoon a Tuna!" I was tallish and a swimmer? Pointy nose? My personal odeur, if any, was "horse" or Downy Fabric Softener, so I know he wasn't referring to THAT.

But, being semi-offensive and sort of inappropriate, I immediately adopted it as a nickname.

Note: it was a high school nickname. It's not funny NOW. So...don't. Unless you're dying to see my semi-pained weak smile and get on my "people who can't take a hint" list.

Secondary Note: He did NOT get to harpoon the Tuna that night, as I had already perfected my "how to get a guy drunk enough that he passes out before he gets too unruly, but not so much that he pukes on you" method, that, along with going out with a lot of gay boys, enabled me to choose my time and place.

But anyway, while Weebles wobbled when she was drunk, she didn't fall down, thanks to a low center of gravity and the fact that she was usually accompanied by Tuna. Who staggered. Often into Weebles, who would wobble. But she would wobble right into my stagger and upright us both.

We were an effective team. And we never, EVER fell down.

I only bring this up because today, for some reason, several times I have caught myself lurching -- around corners, down the hallway. Lurching, of course, is what happens to staggerers when they are sober. Failure to stretch this morning? Beginnings of a sinus or inner ear issue? These damn shoes catching on the carpet? I dunno.

But let me assure you, if I am still lurching this weekend, I am NOT finding my own inner Jack Sparrow.

Comments

[thatliardiego.livejournal.com]

Nicknames are weird.

I got nicknamed "Fish" at one post when I was in the USAF, if only because I reminded a couple of guys who used to stationed in Korea of a guy they knew there who was nicknamed ... Fish.

::shrugs::

All things being equal, "Dinty" ain't so bad.

[meapet.livejournal.com]

I used to be Randems (which was supposed to be Manders backwards)

subsequently later on in my life, Manders helped me figure out Meander, which is what I've been going by for almost 8 years now, and like better :)

[macdobhran.livejournal.com]

You're a cruel, cruel woman to throw out a high school nickname like that and then deny us our God given right to tease you about it.

Sigh

Alright. No rose tag hits with cans of Chicken-of-the-Sea. Party pooper.

[terribleturnip.livejournal.com]

Oh, well, if there's FOOD involved....

[dawntreader]

I am NOT finding my own inner Jack Sparrow.

you don't wear enough eyeliner to be mistaken for that.

[dashrippington.livejournal.com]

I'll let you grip onto my curved woody for balance. Bwaahaahaa!

[pyllgrum.livejournal.com]

I figure we can lurch in unison, and start a dance craze.

[sestree.livejournal.com]

My totally inapropriate nickname was Harold (who is also my muse -- the best times were when Harold was runnin the show).

My best friend's totally inappropriate nickname was Otis (only because Buford was already taken by Kim).

Kinda scary now that I think about it.

[thatliardiego.livejournal.com]

"Harold, Otis and Buford?"

All you need is a Cletus and y'all could work for Cooter's Garage.

[sestree.livejournal.com]

HA - I don't think we had a Cleetus. We had a Dallas though.

as in 'her ass was as big as Dallas Texas'. Lois even married the dude that gave her that nickname.

Again, very scary place ...........

[armitige3.livejournal.com]

In high school, my nickname was Peeper. I graduated at 4'8", 85 lbs, looked twelve (as evidenced here, in my senior photo), and didn't hit puberty until a year after graduation (graduated just after my 17th birthday). Yeah, late bloomer. Was in choir, and had a range that could top the high sopranos. *sigh*

its the changing air pressure

[im-geva.livejournal.com]

making you lurch. Upsets your inner ear.

I've never, ever, had a nickname. geva is my SCA name, short of Genevieve - not even close to my real name.

[pyratelady.livejournal.com]

on Tuna: Considering that Prince Charming started with "harpoon," which usually applies to "whale," I think he's damned lucky that he got into a car with you in the first place.

on nicknames: The closest I've ever had to a nickname was just a shortening of my name -- "Darse." Which nice old ladies always hear as Doris.

When I was in college, I hung out with about 5 different Jennifers. We started calling them by their last names like we were in the military.

on lurching: A few days ago, I fell up the stairs. At least I was carrying a full laundry basket, so it could be argued that I was too top-heavy.