Apr. 20th, 2016

terribleturnip: (Goat)
There comes that moment in every person's life, as they age, when they realize that they really ARE old, and try as they might, there will be no more surfing the edge of culture and technology. That their attempts to catch up, stay current, stay hip, stay fluent are, well, better than not trying at all, but not going to be effective. That the best you can hope for is to not be completely in the dark. Your role now, when it comes to culture and technology is to be that old person that says "hmm, I don't understand, can you explain it/show me how?"

Which is ten thousand times better than some of your peers who are just rejecting new ideas, new forms of communication, new language, new fashion, new technology out of hand because the new stuff is different. I mean, I've pledged to myself that before I reject or criticize something that "the kids" are doing/into, I'll make sure it's because I have a really good reason, not because it's new, different or something I don't think you should be doing because in my day...

(For the record: pants hanging off your ass is just stupid. It's uncomfortable to have your crotch between your knees, plus also bears. How the hell can you run from a bear if your pants are like that? Also, Twitter. Expletive that. I don't have a 140 character story in me. Twitter all you want, but I'm okay with never really being able to parse out the hashtag thing. And nose rings. I just...I find them ugly. I mean, if you like the way you look in them, fine, go for it, but I'm always going to make that little eye-squinting, mouth-tightening thing when I first see you. If you ask me, I'll tell you nope, I don't think it's a good look for you...or anyone. But only if you ask me. Otherwise...not my body, not my business.)

But here was my watershed "I'm now a geezer moment". When I read this: "The eggplant and peach emoji are standard code for racy thoughts these days..." Wait, what?

I thought "okay, from here forward in texts and other communication that use emoji, I will always be evidently a geezer, trying and failing to keep up. I mean I was already getting confused with the little emoji that -- to me -- looks like it's happy and loving with its little pink cheeks and happy smile.

Until I used it and someone said "Oh, you don't have to be embarrassed." Oh, that's the embarrased emoji? And now I'm trying to remember who the hell I've sent the eggplant and peach emoji to. Here, I'm all happy fruits of the season and they're all OMG, is she hitting on me?

Doomed, I'm doomed.

At least I'm already comfortable wearing the "rock the awkward" mantle. I guess I should stop considering that a special use garment and just plan on putting that on every day from here on out.
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