Is it hot in here, or is that just me?

WAH! Why don’t I feel better? Since about Christmas, I’ve tried to be vigilant about getting enough sleep, eating my daily share of veggies, hitting the Emergen-C. And okay, surrounded by sick people of all kinds and I never got anything. Except for about a week now I’ve had this feeling of incipient illness – headache-y, sinus pressure. Maybe some very low-grade fever and chills, except that when the Hot Flash Fairy is your new best friend, it’s hard to say what the hell is going on, temperature-wise. It’s the exhaustion that’s really making me nuts – no matter how much sleep I get, I want MORE. I want to go to bed at 8pm, take naps in the afternoon, push the alarm clock off just one more hour….

If I thought I was just going to suffer from this for two weeks and then it would gradually fade away, I’d be celebrating that I got off easy. But in true glass-half-empty fashion, I’m petrified that this is just a PRECURSOR, and eventually it will build into something far more impactful and then I will be Mary, Queen of Snots for a FURTHER two weeks, with ANOTHER two weeks of being not fully functioning.

( And the lesson learned is: )

That's enough for today, really.

So, it's bad enough that I'm having all of this groundless anxiety for no apparent reason -- other than worrying about whether I'm wasting time pampering (if by pampering I mean getting enough sleep, taking it easy from time to time and reducing my pace) myself, when no amount of pampering makes me feel any better, PLUS I'm falling behind on things I want to do, so if I'm going to feel like carp, I might as well ramp things up, get stuff done and feel like carp. At least I won't have to sweat falling behind. But then I start to worry about making this worse, whatever the hell it is.

To help, my mother forwards me news of a family friend who is being flown back to the States so that they can operate on his pancreas. Because he has a fishbone stuck in it.

Wait, WHAT? I didn't even know that could happen. How the hell do you get a fishbone stuck in your pancreas? (Note to self: all those tiny fish you refuse to eat whole, and for which refusal you have endured the ridicule of friends and family? Pat yourself on the back, Self, at least you won't wind up with a fishbone in your pancreas.) Although that brings up specters of all of the other weird expletive that could be going on....thanks, Mom.

Leaving a colleague's office, I did my patented grab the doorframe as I go and swing myself outward into the hallway...because I am a child and it feels fun. Aaaaand this time, I manage to catch my ring on the corner of the lockplate, and for a brief moment am hanging with most of my weight suspended on one toe tip and the ring. It hurt a lot. Also, my ring is now oval shaped and will not come off my finger until I manage to beat it back to round...while on my finger...or have it cut off. Awesome.

So, I came back to do some minor file cleaning, setting up some new files for potential new suppliers. And found myself making a file for "Personal/Pet Hygiene"...for the scented disposable bags to put feminine hygiene products, doggy poo bags, condoms, sex amenities, and yes, bio-degradable coffins.

You know what? That's enough for one day. I can't take anymore. I'm trading this in for a bottle of wine and rack of lamb.