My brain is so frayed:

[terribleturnip]

One of my contracts was worth $10,123,987 last year. I typed that into the calculator (do you kids even use calculators anymore?) and thought, no, that can't be right. Cleared it. Looked it up again, and thought oh, okay -- typed it into the calculator and froze...AGAIN. Go ahead, try it, it feels like you're making it up, doesn't it?

If were a betting person...oh, that's right I am. I always bet that it will go horribly awry. And I'm right...just often enough to assure me that the ONE time I buy lottery ticket, I will waste my ONE chance at winning by winning $1.

That's what, the opposite of Magical Thinking. Which is a great concept -- as well as a good book by Augusten Burroughs.

Here's MY magical thinking for the day. I was thinking about how I waste time during the day...and naturally I thought -- well, those nearly hourly trips to the ladies room cut into things a bit, no? Wait, is there something wrong with me? That's a lot! But then again, I am constantly drinking something -- DMD, water, Emergen-C, iced tea...

And that's when I realized...every time I take a sip, a little part of brain thinks "Damn. STILL not beer."

Comments

THAT explains everything!

[ginger-rose.livejournal.com]

I've actually switched to decaf coffee because I seem to need something in my hands to drink. I think I was up to almost a pot of coffee a day by myself.

Now I know it's my brain waiting for cognac. Or wine. So simple. Who knew? ;)

Re: THAT explains everything!

[sestree.livejournal.com]

...yep that 'splains it all.

Here I thought I was using the bathroom to hide from people. Now I know it was my inner redneck screaming BEEEEEER.

[thatliardiego.livejournal.com]

"Inner?"